Poems

Forever Be

You will be forever autumn.

You are an ortolan bunting
And I have been chewing on you
All this time, all this time,
And I’ve only now broken through.

Are you the stumble, or the corner I crash into?
I keep pushing you away,
Pretending I don’t know who you are,
Dressing you up as another day.

I used you as a mirror,
And I didn’t like what I saw,
Because I never do like what I see,
And it’s never the same as before.

I used you as a songbird,
Never threw you to the sky.
I thought you’d scream instead of sing,
Thought you’d fall instead of fly.

You are the fire that fills the holes
And you are the shadows crumpled on the floor
I imagined you wafer-thin
But you will never be that colour, or that soul.

I think of you as the swallows over from Africa,
Or the kittiwakes, perching uncomfortably.
I wish you were so frail that all would flock to help you,
Delicate, like a child immersed, a faery.

You will be forever autumn.
You will be forever soaring.
You will be forever

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